i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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