I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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