I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
this will be a night to untag.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize