Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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