Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I CAN MOONWALK!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
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He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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