where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
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She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
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he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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