The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
even my farts smell like vagina
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize