Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize