it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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