Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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