Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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