I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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