Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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