chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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