hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
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Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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