he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize