lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize