she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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