That's when you crack a 10am beer
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
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So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
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We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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