So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
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I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
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I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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