some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so that wasnt chicken after all
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
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