Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
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I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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