i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
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Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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