it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
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