so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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