You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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