May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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