I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
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We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize