She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
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If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
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you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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