Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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