Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
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He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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