you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize