He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
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I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
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Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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