Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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