fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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