Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I had to cum in my sink.
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