you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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