so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize