i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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