Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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