i don't plan on having that self control this summer
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize