we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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