Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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