Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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