Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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