when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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