You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The best revenge is premature balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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