shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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