You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
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The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
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Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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