is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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